What a difference a day make or a week for that matters. I know you have heard these words somewhere, actually in a song if you have been around long enough. This is where I was, emotionally spent, disliking my life place. All of my energy had spilled right out of me, as a result I became very negative. Unknowingly at the time, I felt trapped inside of my skin. I am presently successful career–wise but personally I was up the stream without a paddle. What have you done when you were in this situation? What got you going again? Where did you cast your net? Fisherman, they say, are very wise. I suppose it’s because of the toss; the location as to where it’s tossed. This week it was my time to “take action to throw or cast my net out there.”

Now that I have your attention, I would like to introduce myself to you. I am getting to visit you wherever you are all the way from Columbia, Missouri. I fortunately posted my bio and aspirations on a professional site called Linkedin. I didn’t know exactly what would happen from this barrage of posting but it was now out there. It was out there that I am an experienced writer and speaker seeking to broaden my horizon(s) to speak out as an advocate about topics that are close and dear to me i.e. dating abuse to college students and domestic violence. I was contacted and asked if I would consider being a guest writer. I said yes after a lengthy but positive (not knowing where this would go) conversation.  So here I am on Adapting2change’s blog page as a guest writer for the next four weeks.

What got me here is as follows:

I was in one of those low, struggling, crisis moments in time.  My personal life was suffering and had sucked so much of my energy from me I decided to turn my focus towards improving my professional life.  I reached out to other professionals trying to find some common connections. This has led to several transforming events.  It has been, for me, emotionally healing and self-affirming.  Emotions are contagious.  Connect with others. They are out there desiring to connect and listen and sometimes even support you. Some are seeking support and simply are asking for validation because they are or have been in the same situation. 

Last Tuesday, I sat alone on my drab brown couch.  I felt so very lonely.  How could I ever get them to understand?  I lashed out at the wrong people.  Three of the people I loved the very most in all of the world. The years of trauma and grueling hurt washed out of me at that instant.  As I watched and heard it happen I wanted to die….and I felt my soul rip apart, tortured over and over again.  Fear and loathing glared at me for days. I needed to heal before I could ever do anyone else any good.

The following day, I decided I could not bear the way I was feeling: Distraught and full of anguish. My stomach felt like a hot rock burning a hole through my skin.  My eyes didn’t want to see anymore.  My body wanted to be permanently numbed.  It was too real and I felt too much. Out of desperation to tune out my personal devastation I decide to fling my net out and didn’t even care what it pulled in at that point.  My mind said just do anything except think about your miserable reality.  Helpless, I thought, and in an attempt to deceive myself, I decided to reach out to strangers by letting myself be heard.  

Today is a brand new day. I have and I am victorious.  I am no longer in my head, well I am but I’m no longer fixated on limitations. A new word for me and maybe for you is “possibilities.” So you’re puzzled as to my pain? I do want you to keep in mind that I will share my story in another post.

 It’s not that my surrounding circumstances are astronomically better than yesterday but when you cast out your net you will find some great souls to lift your spirits, make you believe, and turn the tide of your life. The perfection of life is in its imperfections.  Through the imperfections, the faults, the cracks, and human error is a whole lot of glory and satisfaction.  I may have used a few metaphors here but who knows what’s behind that next door or if you take that street or road that you never travel.

The replies started rolling in and the responses ranged anywhere from “I might have a job for you to look into” to “Meet for coffee and talk about our overlapping interests?”   What do you know?  I had LinkedIn to some extraordinary people.  My intentions were purely professional but in my personal endeavors, my downtrodden attitude gradually did a 360. I am happier and more confident about the days and weeks ahead and my personal problems which seemingly are shifting in a much positive, uplifting direction.

So where will all of this take you…..

My father would often say to me, If you don’t ask, you don’t get (Mahatma Gandhi). We all have passions and hang ups. Don’t be timid.  Reach out.  It can make a world of difference from the inside out.  I have spent the majority of my life being concerned with what others might think of what I think, what I do, who I am.

I could have left you with some tips but for now I want you inspired to know that you can make change happen for you. You can make change happen for your family and your communities. Crazy as it seems when you blindly take that next step, miraculous things begin to happen. I hope to hear from you and I invite your feedback and comments. Being here, in the present with you after last week, is a great place to be. Cast your net and see what happens!


Tara Henderson, Guest Writer, is a speaker, writer, and communications strategist. She holds a Masters in English and is presently attending a Masters in Public Health at the University of Missouri. Tara is an advocate and spokesperson for Dating Abuse and Domestic Violence, providing workshops on college campuses in surrounding communities in Columbia, Missouri.